Every time I miss you

Every second, every minute, every hour
All day, every day
I miss you
I miss your voice
I miss it when you text me
I miss it when I wake up in the morning I have a good morning text from you
I miss it before I sleep that you wish me a good night sleep
I miss it when we dream the same dream
I miss you
I can’t do anything but miss you
Miss you so bad
Do you miss me?
Do you think of me?

Because I know, I do so badly
When I’m missing you, I listen to the cd you gave me
As if you are here with me
Comforting me

I miss you so much… oh so very much


i hope you do too...

audacity

when i was a little girl being brave for me was
sleeping on own bed
with my yaya sleeping next to me
she would sleep to a bed adjacent to mine
so that when i have nightmares
its gonna be an easy access for me
to cuddle up with her
so that the nightmares would go away
i was so frightened with my dreams
that i cant go back to sleep
without her comforting me with her hugs
until she went home
she went back to her province in cebu
i needed to be brave
to brave the darkness of the night
i used to have super duper scary nightmares
when i was in grade school
all the time
most of the time
so when she left me
she taught me how to brave the darkness
as i was transitioning in my teenage years
i wanted to have my own room
i was brave enough for the first night
that i was alone in my own bed in my own room
my brother for some strange reason
wanted to share a room with me
since he was and always will be a mama's boy
he usually sleep with our parents at that time
so he transfered to my room
it became our room!
So at least i was able to face my fear
those scary nightmares just wont go away still
but somehow i learn how to cope up
when i got kicked out of my school
i thought it was the end of me
i thought my future is gone
i was so ashamed of myself
thinking i was the only girl, quiazon side
that all the quiazon boys are born atenistas
and that they are all brainy brain
and here i am
looking stupidly airhead!
Not to mention i thought i would end up an out of shcool youth
13 year old girl!?
I was so glad and vindicated when my former school in kindergarten accepted me

when i had my first boyfriend
i did'nt know how to tell my mom and dad
i was scared but i dont wanna lie to my parents
i told my mom first
mama i have a boyfriend
she was just cool
but tell your papa when he is in a good mood
i did everything i could to please my dad at that time
when i had the chance
i told him finally
papa i have a boyfriend
thank god! It wasnt that hard

when my first love broke up me
my world was shattered
it was my first heartbreak
my parents see me sad
they just dont want to see me sad
my mom did everything to not see me sad
she enrolled me at a driving school
so at 14 i was learning how to drive
to get over a heartbreak
it was scary too
i was too young to drive
when i graduated
summer wasnt over yet
my dad would see me cry
so he would take me with him
make me his official driver
i got too many blunders
he wanted me to be a very good driver
until i mastered, driving
school started
off course the enivitable
seeing my boyfriend
and i wont deny the fact
that i was wishing that he would get back with me
but it did not happened
i tried talking to him
like it was nothing
i went up to him
like a brave soldier
i said
''patrick, you and my brother have the same school shoes
those are vans right?''
and you know what?
As he was sitting when i approached him
he started to stand up
i thought he would go near me and
answer my question
you know what?
He just went on
walked out on me
he embarrassed me infront of all our friends
i was close to tears
i think it was fergus or harvey saved me
he just said yes tin, me and your brother have the same shoes!
I never talked to him
after that
boy i never thought i could get over that humiliation
it just teaches me how to be brave
that was just a piece of cake for me now
the rejection and humiliation that i am currently feeling
i am just trying to recall
all my bravest acts from the past
that somehow can help me cope up now
my friend jelen tells me
you were in a much worst situation before
how can you not be fine now?
I dont know ?
I just cant control my sadness now
my break up
very recent break up
was somehow far easy to deal with
maybe because i knew that my ex was such a looser?
That somehow i knew it never was
i dont know which one is far worst?
Is it knowing that someone cheated on you
or is it knowing that someone you trully like
never did like you the way you want them to like you
or is it because the love you give away was not reciprocal?
I am that desperate?
It is making me feel weak
fall flat
ground zero flat
that i just dont know what to do next.
Do i move on?
do i wait for him to realize it too?
Hope floats all the time
i hope this time
its gonna be on my side
that finally destiny and fate will be kind to me
i had been and close to giving up
but by nature i am a cheery, pocket full of sunshine girl
though when i am sad it really gets to me
the fear
the torture
the pain
i dont want to endure the pain
i dont know whats wrong with me?
Do i make them stray away?
Am i all that wrong?
Was i so wrong?
What am i doing wrong?
Am i always wrong?
Whats so wrong with me?
I dont know if i can get over this
i dont know how to be brave even
i always try to be brave
how can i not be brave this time and move on?
One day at a time
a new day of hope
but that new day of hope
is another day far away from you
whats even harder for me is
i know that your having fun
and not care about me at all
how will i be happy?
What will i do to find my simple joy again?
Why does it has to be like this?

oh well just move on
and the question is
how will i ever brave the storm again?
even it is so hard
baby steps

i know one of these days i will feel better

90210

wishing it was my zipcode
but it aint
no wonder i stink again
havent showered since last night before i slept
oh yes!
Another weekend marathon!
It's making me lazy
but nice one!
Super enjoyed the episodes


still thinking if im going out or not
if nobody text i wont
steady bird
but i kinda miss my margarita!
Oh well
there goes my weekend jogging!

Im back to whatever!?
Anything goes i guess!?

satisfied?... satisfied!

ahhh i love today!
I love friday!
Dilly dally
chill chill
unexpected leave :-)
sumptuous lunch @ mila's with era
ate crispy sisig and pork steak
wish granted :-)
headed over sm clark
for what?
Meet faye
and off course the inevitable
tutti frutti!!
Whoah! Slow it down!
Extremely food trip!


Yeah for the wekend!

But before the weekends will have a client call
@ phoenix gasoline station
sir rey!
another yey for the week!
Dont mind working while on leave
or over the weekends :-)


enjoy the weekend..
Biz n pleasure :-)

wishes...

mirror mirror hanging on the wall
you dont have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
lalalalalala
if only wishes could be dreams
and all my dreams could come true
just trying to sing m2m's mirror, mirror
i totally love that part! Hmmm
just happy to report that finally
after 5 freaking days of craving for
crispy sisig and pork steak so badly
i will be able to eat that tomorrow for lunch!
Yehey!

P.s.
(manababi)
dont over eat!

Remaining food trip not fullfilled:(
starbuck's strawberry waffle, either the currant or the lemon something
maybe on saturday anyway jelen owes me a starbucks! Hehe
tutti frutti all the way..maybe on sunday! I owe my pet Gino for a treat.

And still the ipad 2 lingers!?

starlight thinking thoughts

meditate
last song syndrome.. Pocket full of sunshine
texting;
my friends dune and jelen..our usual hi, hello's no time for our usual conference call
too many other friends calling
my classmate allan.. Catching up with life too
my good friend kate.. Emote to the max!
Era off course, golf course the whole day the whole time
texting..facebooking..telebatak..
thank god we both have our private lines at our respective branches
if not a lot would complain why the hell the line is busy all the time!
Calling calling faye, saying amiga i need your help
ok how can i help?
Im ok with the 2 bedroom villa
please tell your friend..sure thing.. Pathing
i called my friend ann asap
hey ann my friend faye is ok with the villa
ok tin i will call fontana tomorrow and will text you right away
done deal..
Callback faye! Good news kinda.. Lets wait for tomorrow
lets hope fontana is not fullybooked.
Ring ring ring mare! Wats up?
Hey karren i heard you have work already?
Can u reserve one slot for me?
Yes of course mare for you!
Are you resigning off course not
just want to have extra money!
Why not peanut?
Though how busy i was with all of these
it boils down to one conclusion!?
How soon can i get the ipad2?
I know!!!
Totally, super out of the way topic!?
Really now,how soon?

Laughing Conspicuously

Is a good therapy
Lessen stress
Makes me feel good all the time
Looking younger
Brighten everyone’s day
Food for the soul
Anti aging
Lighten my sadness
Makes me forget how tiring the day is and was
Ticklish feeling to make the time faster
Releases awkward moment
Dandy, groovy impression


So laugh out loud… all the time :-)

Two superficial funny stories that made my day today

1. Eraculous – on my way to work today I was listening to tasmin archer’s sleeping satellite. It is one of my fave song way back and still is up to this day. I passed by Total gas station and I laughed so hard. I was alone in my car. I can’t help but laugh and laugh. Why? This is because I remember era telling me her story last Friday. She had to gas up and since it was close to pay she needed to budget her money! She specifically told the gasoline boy to charge her 200 pesos. Then while she was waiting in her car she was shocked to see that the amount of gasoline went up to 300 then 400 then until it stopped to 500 pesos! To her disgust she was exasperatingly mad because she knew that she told him 200 pesos only! I told you 200 only how come you gas it up till 500? How will I pay you? I only have 300? You were not listening to me! To a complete argument... ok fine I will be back tomorrow to pay you!!! Until now i'm all alone typing my blog looking like a fool here! I am completely laughing my @ss off!

2. Anto – this morning I went out to meet my client at their office at Intertech Marketing. As soon as I got in to my car I saw a blue vios zooming my way. He was way too fast and hmm looks familiar ZNK 325? Ha? Anto? Yes it is. Then during my spare time I texted him and said... My friend I saw you this morning and you were furiously fast. And he replied with (sorry I just can’t say it in English, it wouldn’t be funny if I would=) “hehe mangapatakla ku kanta myfren.haha”

I just wanted to share the funny stories that made my day! Thanks to my friends though they haven’t done anything special for me, but by just being themselves makes me laugh it out loud! Thank you Lord for blessing me with many natural comedic friends :D

Tinkering and it’s too many meanings

I was looking for some good materials to write about for today. Aside from the fact that I’m extremely busy with work lately. I was tinkering on my office computer. Checking my work emails, checking my pending documents and off course, golf course checking my facebook account.

Then there it was, tinkering again! So what does tinkering means? Basically for me it is just the fiddling of something or anything... So I started to wonder what does tinkering mean. So I started to open my ever loyal friend M.S. word to check if I have it spelled correctly and yes I did! Here is the result I got from Encarta Dictionary:

1. Unskillful worker – a clumsy or unskillful worker, especially at repair work.
2. Somebody good at many tasks (it gets me doesn’t it contradict number 1?)
3. Act of fiddling with something – ahh this I already know :D
4. Traveling pot mender- in former times, somebody who traveled from place to place mending metal household items such as pots and pans.
5. Young mackerel – a fish, a mackerel that is not fully grown.
6. naughty child – mischievous or badly behaved child

So there you go I have six different meaning of tinkering...now I so know!

Thank you to Encarta Dictionary…

solitary confinement

finally!
I did it!
I didn't leave the house since friday night
my good friend anto called me up
asking me if i can go out
i just told him i'm sorry but i can't
though i terribly miss hanging out with them
i just want to sleep till my eyes open
saturday
i went in to hiding
took my work @ home
i just worked my @ss off the whole saturday
when friends started to text me
tweeny to be exact
let's go to pub tonight
i just texted him
sorry...pass
thank God my lil prince went home
it is so nice to hear and see my baby evo
saturday night was just my typical one
internet all i can
to my hearts content
if you were to ask me
im fine with this
not going out
just at home
i hate going out when im not in the mood
i hate it also when im out with friends
but im thinking i should be some place else
not functioning well
not listening to anybody's stories
because my mind is thinking about someone else
so i know i did the right thing
i slept around 1am
woke up with baby evo shouting joyously
playing with his ball
thank God it was a sunday marathon of 90210
so, since 9am till 3pm
i barely ate my food
didn't shower
just watch tv
my brother wanted to watch a movie
i said no
my dad came to me begging me to go out
i was a bit disappointed with my brother because
last night i wanted some starbucks
and he said he is tired
ok fine
then this morning i told him
to buy crispy sisig and pork steak
over @ mila's
but then again he was watching basketball
with his wife, frei
so i guess i was kinda retaliating
when i said no
i just want to lay down
and i wanted to watch 90210
so badly, i neeeded to catch up with the story
he was lucky because at 3pm
it was the last episode
after that
i can't find a good movie to watch over cable
i felt sad n lonely
so after all the hybernating and hiding
i came out of the house
it was time for me to face world again
forgetting the bitter yesterday
i wanted to eat @ italianni's
so we had our early dinner
seeing all those innocent children play
they made me realize that there's always hope
and that somehow there is still kindness on earth
now im over fed
getting fat and lazy!
Next week im going out for a jog!
And no i wont go out still
i need to recuperate first
spend time alone
just sleep and jog :)

tomorrow

how i wish it already is tomorrow
cause i know when its tomorrow
it will be a better day..
A new day to erase the hurtful yesterday
a new day of hope
a new day to smile
:)

Happy Thursday

Bright clear feel good Thursday
March 10, 2011

Today I texted everybody with a “happy Thursday”. May it be globe, suncel or smart. I always would want to brighten everybody’s day. It’s such a joy when I hear feedbacks like thank you for texting me I was having a bad day and your text brightened my day. Or thank you, your text was so fitting and it gave me hope.
I sometimes feel like I’m a clown…
Masquerading my own sadness by making someone else’s day sunny and shinny..
It helps me forget my sadness
It helps me find joy


So too much blabbing with my morning text blasts…


Over lunch I headed over the bankers meeting
@ Fortune restaurant
Meet era, chit chat with the San Fernando branch managers..


Good thing I was looking all nice and dapper
I hate my Thursday uniform
Not wearing it :D
I have a self declared Thursday uniform :D ha-ha
So every Thursday’s I get to dress up and not just on Friday’s


Listened to talks about:
Fire prevention and wellness

did you know that firemen today are already college graduates?
and that the Fire department is now 20 years of service...


all day everyday of our lives we encounter a lot of bacteria and health hazard
most of them are air born..
so be thankful enough to have a very healthy immune system


Love Thursdays…it is my gateway to the weekend…
But wait I am no longer excited over weekends..
Nobody to look forward too :(

So Saturday is just any other ordinary day :(
Nothing spectacular about it anymore
No one to wait for :(

How can I always start with positive thoughts and end up on a negative?


One day I’ll have my sweetest smile :)
Now I remember one of my too many favorite songs…
Just to compliment my mood…
ZERO by yeahyeahyeahs

I totally feel like a ZERO

Lesson learned

I’m such a stubborn person! I always learn the hard way, but oh well who doesn’t? Anyway we are only human and nobody is perfect. With this experienced I learned:

1. That in order for you to love you need to fully accept the person totally wether the good or the worst thing about that person.
2. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, so very hard to find now a days.
3. Some people are born users and players... so be aware...
4. It doesn’t mean that your friends know him/her, be wary still because he/she has a tendency to be a POKER FACE.
5. UNDERSTANDING… is another important factor on having a lasting relationship.
6. TRUST… is always earned. To gain trust of a person you always need to prove something.
7. Oh why oh why you tell me lalalala LIES LIES? Stop saying so! If it isn’t the truth.
8. HONESTY is still the best policy.
9. Committing yourself with another person is sharing the whole of you. Sometimes a lil bit of mystery.
10. No PRETENSIONS at all.
11. If someone dropped you like a hot potato, well he/she is not all that, you know!
12. A person who is truly in love will stick around, no matter how worst the situation is!
13. Not even if you have the far worst traits or even if you’re the son of a killer, if that person truly loves you, he/ she will never surrender in fighting for your love.
14. Choose to be happy in love always.
15. PRIDE is only for the proud and boastful.
16. Never blame yourself for loving unconditionally.
17. NO REGRETS for at least you had the chance to say and do everything for that person.
18. Always look back with no worries.
19. look for a bright future
20. SMILE. It helps lessen the pain...



My feel good blog way back November 2010..found it somewhere in my phone..

brainless

at times i am
why dont i think first
im always dense

how could i be so stupid?

my state of mind according to excerpts of songs (:with correction on lyrics and spelling of names )

Star glowing in the twilight
Tell me true
Hope whispers and I will follow
Till you love me too
winter light..linda Ronstadt

save your kisses for me
show me how you miss me
all so easliy
my lovin
save your kisses for me
cos i dont wanna be
a summer love thing
save your kisses for me..natasha thomas

truth hurts
lies worst
how can i give anymore?
Broken strings.. Nelly furtado n james morrison


I'm on the pursuit of happiness
and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
pursuit of happiness..kid cudi


Who do you tell when you love someone
Hoping that someone's in love with you
Who do you tell when you love someone
I think I might as well tell you
who do you tell.. Tamia


Truth be told my problems solved
You mean the world to me but you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
While we're risking the way that i see you
i see you..mika


But it was just a dream
Just a moment ago
I was up so high
Lookin down at the sky
Don’t let me fall
I was shootin for stars
On a Saturday night
They say what goes up
Must come down
But don’t let me fall
don't let me fall..b.o.b


Lately
(I've been watching you)
Been thinkin 'bout you, baby
(And everything you do)
Just sittin' away watching the days go by
lately..divine

baby im on my knees
praying god help me please
bring my baby back
right back to me
if you loving you was right
then i dont wanna go wrong
so i drown myself with tears
sitting here, singing another love song
lately..divine

I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me
Kinda invisible
You don't sense my stay
Not truly hiding, not like a shadow
Just thought I would join you for one day
I'm sitting down here,
But hey you can't see me
sitting down here..lene marlin


Tell me where am I supposed to go?
And who am I supposed to believe.
If only you knew what I knew.
Then you could see just what I see.
So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a GHOST
ghost in the machine... B.o.b

Damn I wish I was your lover
I'll rock you till the daylight comes
Make sure you are smiling and warm
I am everything
Tonight I'll be your mother I will
Do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed
damn! I wish i was your lover..sophie b. Hawkins

So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away
breakdown..mariah carey

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
butterfly..mariah carey

im not asking for too much
baby, just stick around
stick around..azure

Walk me home, I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby would you walk with me home?
Baby would you take my hand?
Come with me now to a special land
Baby would you walk with me home?
Walk me home..mandy moore

Oh baby
I can`t fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
Take my hand
Make my wish
Baby, your command?
i wanna be with you..mandy moore


i don't know what you do to me
i see eternity staring back at me
i made a vow to you that i'm gonna keep
watching over you everytime you sleep
when i think about what i'd do for you
it makes me think about all the things you do
you never once complained about the bad things
you swallowed all your pride
& held inside all of your pain
i only wanna be with you
(wanna be with you)
now i need you to need me too
no one will come between me & you
(never, ooh)
we will live our lives forever
(forever)
we'd even cry together
(we'll cry)
forever, & ever, & ever
i only wanna be with you..rozwell


If you take your love away from me
I'll go crazy
I'll go insane
Don't leave
Don't leave me girl, no, no
Please stay with me tonight
Don't leave me girl, yeah, ohoho, yeaheah
Please stay with me tonight
dont leave me girl..blackstreet


Even in my heart I see
You're not bein' true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing's like it used to be
Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad baby
Quit playin' games with my heart
Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart
I should've known from the start
Before you got into my heart
quit playing games with my heart..backstreet boys


nothing is so good it last eternally
perfect situation must go wrong
i know him so well.. elaine paige


Flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things come to an end?
Nelly furtado


please tell me
please tell me
im not the only one in love
cant stop thinking about.. Stacy lattisaw


And it hurts to be in love
When you only want me half as much
I tell you it hurts to be in love
and it hurts to be in love..gino vanelli :)


Cupid doesn't lie
But you won't know unless you give it a try
Oh baby, true love
won't lie but we won't know
unless we give it a try
give it a try
cupid..112


if your leaving please take me along with you
the flight..perri

pearlie shells

@ shell pulung bulo
the owner doesn't know but i'm one of its loyal customer
since its a sunday i was able to have my car (my mom actually) wash
underwash et al
havent done this for the past 3 months or so...
i used to love going to the carwash and have my car washed
but due to a very busy schedule oh well shocks
havent done this for quite some time
finally i was able to do it again..
Whats funny while waiting for my car
the car wash boy started to play the radio
and what was the radio playing?
Hiram! Zsa zsa padilla!
With matching '' ulit ulit'' on the part of
''ako'y tao lang na nadadarang na natutukso din''

oh well there goes my sunday...

It could have been a weekday but i can't do it on an ordinary day anymore